


Letters to Matt

by technicrawl



Series: links & letters [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Female Pidge | Katie Holt, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Letters, Matt Holt has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mentioned Matt Holt, Mentions of Other Voltron Paladins, Other, Pidge | Katie Holt-centric, Rebel Matt Holt, Voltron, emo shit, idk man. pidge's letters to matt while hes in space being held captive, season 4 - 7 spoilers, space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 10:26:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15628710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/technicrawl/pseuds/technicrawl
Summary: dear Matt,today you went into space.





	Letters to Matt

**Author's Note:**

> ok so,, ive had this ao3 acc for a while now n havent really done anything w it?? i decided to post this weird old collection of letters pidge wrote to matt while he was away. this has /not/ been beta'd. 
> 
> find me on vld amino @technicrawl
> 
> ps. i dont know how this formatting works so b nice to me ;0

dear Matt,

today you went into space. 

the kerberos mission was your dream job and now you're off, soaring above the clouds, probably smiling like a lunatic. you're only twenty-three, and yet, you're the smartest person I know.

aside from dad, that is. I think we can both agree he's the real genius in the family. 

I wanted to go to space with you; Katie and Matt, two rebellious millennials ready to take on the stars. the garrison won't go for something like that though. to them, no matter my skill, I'm just a little girl named Katie. maybe if I was a boy, like you and dad, they'd believe in me more. I'm a girl though - this isn't me debating who I am, but instead, me thinking about what I could accomplish as somebody else.

anyways, mom keeps looking at the family portrait on the wall. the one where you, mom and I are sitting on the couch, dad behind us with his chin perched on your head. we all have such dopey smiles on our faces-- guess she misses your dumb mug already. I do too, but don't tell her that. I'm the only one by her side now until you land, and mom needs all the strength she can get. I'm like her redbull.

I don't plan to show you these until you're back. it's not like they're short messages, so translating them into the code would just be a waste of time. you'll be back, that I'm sure of, so when you are, I'll give you this letter and all the other ones I wrote while you were away. this is my way of showing that I love you, even if it isn't always apparent. 

love, your little sister, Katie.

×

dear Matt,

mom made peanut butter cookies today. 

personally, I think they taste like huge glomps of sugar mixed with a touch of nut (don't even think about it.), but they're growing on me. maybe it's because they were your favourite. I'll eat all the junk food for you while you're in space so it won't go bad. my appetite for brown (because, honestly, they aren't purple.) skittles has seriously diminished. why do you keep an entire jar of them in your room? how much did you spend on them? it's disgusting, but you're my older brother, so I'll do what i can to keep your legacy alive.

besides, if I didn't eat them, mom would, and you know how sick sugar makes her feel. it would be shitty if she got ill because of your creepy skittle fetish. the junk food she's consumed already is worrying. I haven't stopped her yet because I know she needs time to heal and all that jazz. she really, really misses you and dad. she's even brought up shiro a few times throughout all this. hell, she's told me she wishes you were back to break dishes and that dad was back to watch Dr. Phil on max volume. it's kinda sad. 

her old heart is really breaking while you and dad are away. get home soon.

love, your little sister, Katie.

×

dear Matt, 

we got a dog last night. 

his name was originally Gunther, but then mom remembered a coworker of hers that had died in an accident a few months back and thought she would keep his name alive my renaming the dog Bae-Bae. apparently the dudes name was Barron, but she said, and I quote (loosely), “this one intern we had for a few weeks had this really funny accent and couldn't pronounce Barron correctly, so Barron made a joke and said to call him Baby instead, and the intern said “Bae-Bae?” we called him Bae-Bae instead of Barron after that.” 

she also told me she wanted me to remind her to put some flowers down on Bae-Bae’s grave. I don't think she was particularly close with him, but she saw him every day and now, he's dead.

I guess that's kinda how I feel about you. you're not dead,obviously, but you're not here, and I don't get to see you everyday. it's really hard here without you, but Bae-Bae (the dog, not the dead man) is helping me and mom feel comfort. he's a little ugly mutt who looks like a greyhound fucked a chihuahua, but he's cute in his own way, you know?

when you get back, mom said she'll have taught Bae-Bae to respond to her holding her fingers into a gun shape by falling over. for some reason, mom wants to make our Bae-Bae dead too. I'm kidding-- don't tell mom I said that.

love, your little sister, Katie.

×

dear Matthew Holt,

you're dead?

the garrison told everyone that the kerberos mission failed. the garrison told everyone that you, one of the best engineers I know, failed. the garrison told everyone that you, one of the best pilots I know, failed. that you failed. that you failed to bring dad home, and shiro home, and yourself home. 

my faith in you is broken. I feel betrayed. you could be dead in space and I'm so fucking mad at you. how careless can you be? don't you know how badly this hurts me? I haven't seen mom smile since the news was released. I was supposed to her rock-- her stability. maybe I've failed too. maybe this is all some fucked up dream. 

I don't want to wake up from this and find out you're dead in reality too. 

maybe I'm being selfish. who knows how you died, what you did to help, or whatever other bullshit you went through, but I'm hurt, and mom is hurt, and you're not a person in this world anymore according to the garrison. 

try watching the news and seeing, “SAMUEL HOLT, MATTHEW HOLT, TAKASHI SHIROGANE, DECLARED DEAD AFTER KERBEROS PILOTING ERROR.”

I went to your funeral and saw them place a fucking tombstone over a plot of grass. there's no body, no ashes, just a few sentimental pieces that mean shit to mom and I, encased in bulletproof glass on top of the tombhead. those objects aren't alive and never have been. those objects aren't you, Matt, and you've left me furious and without answer.

if you're alive, Matthew Holt, I will kill you with my own two hands. in fact, I don't think I'll stop until I know for sure. watch your fucking back, Matt. I'm going to do whatever I can to find you and you better have a good explanation. 

your sister, Katie.

×

dear Matt, 

I was told that your explanation is good after all.

your sibling, Pidge.


End file.
